RICHH: CAVEAT EMPTOR So I was over Flyinfish's(b1zcxzw@kato.bell-atl.com) place drinking Scotch and eating pizza and watching the Simpson's. On the way home, I passed through the most lavender section of Philly. It was cool--I was wearing 501's and a new riding jacket, epaulets and all. Well, as I pass Spruce St. Video(largest collection of all-male films in the city) a pay phone rings on the rack outside the store. I think this is kinda cool so I pick it up. What follows is the conversation: He: Hi. Me: Hello. He: What's your name? Me: Rich. He: What do you do? Me: I write, I run computer networks, whatever pays... He: What are you into? Me: Leather. He: I can see that. Me: You can see me? He: Uh-huh. You got a nice cock? Me: I'm quite attached to it, yeah. He. You're funny. Me: And you're horny. Keep talking. You like what you see? He: Yeah. Show me your cock. Me: I would, but last time I did it cost me 30 days. He: Really? Me: No. So you *do* like what... He: I do. Me: I'm no Colt model, but I *was* in last month's 'International Male' He: Really??!! Hold on, I'll get the-- Me: No, I mean, I was just leafing through it at the supermarket. He: Huh? Me: Never mind. He: So what are you into, besides "leather"? Me: Oh, infantilism, extreme cock and ball torture, woodshed discipline, electrotorture, branding, hydraulic irrigation, cutting, scatplay, piercing... He: Shit. I was just looking to get fucked. Me: That's *sooooo* mid-70's. In fact, this whole pick-up has a very mid-70's feel... He: Piercing, eh? My old roommate has an ampallang. Me: Oh yeah? I have an 'ampersand'. He: What the hell's that? Me: It's like an ampallang, only grittier. He: Shit. I was just looking to get fucked. Me: Trust me. You just did. And I shined up an epaulet an headed away, praying I wouldn't get shot in the back. I didn't. Now that I think about it, it was kinda mean, but hey, if you're gonna call a pay phone at random to pick someone up, well, you know... CAVEAT EMPTOR! RICHH --he *did* have a nice voice, though --then I saw Dominus on the bus ride home and told him the whole story