Selected-By: Dr. Noe The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > How does sand clap? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } No, no, my son, you misunderstood the story. Listen again: } } Many years ago, a young farm boy named Wong from the provice of } Szechuan decided to seek enlightenment as a Zen master. When he } learned that the wisest teachers of Zen were to be found in a school } outside Kyoto, he set out on foot for Japan with only his walking } staff and his dog. } } After many days of walking and sea passage purchased with all the } money he had, he reached Kyoto, and in a mixture of broken Japanese } and sign language was directed to the monastery. } } The monks agreed to take him as a postulant, but insisted that his } dog was not allowed. But after Wong cogently argued that his dog, } too, had the Buddha nature, it was permitted to join its master. } } One day when the dog was roaming in the nearby woods, it discovered } a horde of tasty mushrooms, which it promptly devoured. Little did } it know that this was a rare species of bioluminescent fungus. } } That night, all the monks were gathered for meditation in the courtyard } when they noticed Wong's dog squatting and howling in pain. As they } stared aghast, they saw it depositing a monstrous lump of glowing } fecal material. } } "Aiee!!" said the monks. "What is the hound of Wong-san crapping?!!" } } And Wong was immediately enlightened.