Selected-By: "Leo L. Schwab" The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Dear Oracle, who answers every asker with enervating wit, > > I have seen a list of questions. The list circulates by email and > BBS, and contains questions about braille ATMs, Hawaiian > Interstates, headlights at the speed of light, cargo by ship, > lox on the doors of 711, singular bra, and so on. > > Many of these questions have been seen in your Digest, with answers; > and yet they continue to be asked agin and again... > > What I wonder is, did the list exist first, and people just started > asking you questions from the list whenever they couldn't come up > with their own original questions, or was the list culled from your > Digest? > > In other words, which came first, the list or the Digest? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } The true story is actually more complicated than either of the } possibilities you mention: } ------------------------------------------------------------------ } } [Scene: a hidden chamber underneath the Sphinx. The Oracle and Lisa, } wearing pith helmets, are standing over a large box, overlaid with } gold, and decorated with cherubim.] } } Oracle: We've finally done it, Lisa. We've found the List Ark -- the } box containing the original list of goofy questions God gave to } the ancient Hematites. } } Lisa: Oh, Orrie, you're wonderful. } } [They embrace. Suddenly, a shadowy figure appears at the door.] } } David Feldman, the _Imponderables_ guy: Very touching. [He pulls out } a gun.] I'll be taking that, if you please. } } Oracle: But that's not fair . . . } } Feldman: Fair? Is it fair that you have an entire net groveling at your } feet, when all you do is make wiseass remarks, whereas I, who } at least attempt to answer the questions I am given, must linger } on the "Humor" shelf at Barnes and Noble, hoping that some random } passerby will be willing to shell out ten bucks to find out why } clocks run clockwise? Now stand aside, friend -- I'd hate to have } to put a hole in you. } } Oracle: Wait a minute -- you can't kill me. I'm immortal. } } Feldman: Hmm . . . true. We appear to be at an impasse . . . } } Voice from the door: Not for long. [Two figures emerge out of the } shadows: Cecil Adams and his sidekick Ed Zotti. Cecil is holding a } pistol, and Ed is carrying some kind of complicated raygun device.] } Ah, I see you've noticed my latest invention -- the patented } Straight Dope Laboratories Immortal-Disintegrator. One move out of } you, Oracle, and Ed here will blow you into kingdom went. Right, } Ed? } } Ed: Yes, master. } } Cecil: I'll be taking the Ark, now. Oh, come now, don't look so glum. } After all, I deserve it more than either of you -- I answer } questions *and* make wiseass remarks. } } Voice from the door: Not so fast. [In one smooth motion, Marilyn Vos } Savant leaps into the room, grabs Ed Zotti, and holds a gun to his } head.] That box is mine, all mine. Ha -- you have to get up pretty } early to outsmart the smartest human being in the world . . . } } Cecil: All right, take it. } } Feldman: What? Are you nuts? Give the Ark to that -- } } Cecil: Look, I've still got a gun pointed at you, and I say she gets } it. Are you all right, Ed? [Ed nods, bravely. Cecil addresses Vos } Savant:] Just whatever you do, don't open that Ark. } } Vos Savant: Try to tell *me* what to do, will you? -- You who got the } Monty Hall problem wrong! I'll open any ark I want. [She goes to } open the List Ark.] } } Feldman: Umm . . . I think I'll be going now. [He slips out] } } Cecil: Don't look, Ed! Don't look! } } [Vos Savant opens the Ark, and a huge Spielbergian light show emerges. } Cecil and Ed shut their eyes tightly. Vos Savant doesn't, and turns } into a pillar of salt. The Oracle and Lisa, being immortal, get to } watch all the pretty lights. Eventually, the light show goes back into } the Ark, the Ark closes, and Cecil and Ed can open their eyes again.] } } Lisa: That was *so* *cool*. } } Oracle: Yes, it was rather entertaining. So, what do we do with the Ark } now? } } Cecil: Hmm . . . clearly, even I had underestimated the power of the } List of Goofy Questions. Clearly, it can't be allowed to fall into } anyone's hands, even mine. We must put it someplace where nobody } will be able to take advantage of it's awesome power. } } Oracle: How about the Internet? Nothing useful ever comes out of there. } } Cecil: An excellent idea. [Looks at the salt-pillar.] We'd better ship } Vos Savant back to _Parade Magazine_. Fortunately, it looks like } she'll still be able to write her column. [Turns back to the Oracle } and Lisa:] So, anyone for a game of bridge? } ---------------------------------------------------------------------- } } You owe the Oracle a John Williams score.