Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Path: news.cinenet.net!news.ececs.uc.edu!newsfeeds.sol.net!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.internetmci.com!in1.uu.net!uucp5.uu.net!world!mmcirvin From: mmcirvin@world.std.com (Matt McIrvin) Subject: The only Star Trek: TNG parody I will ever write. Sender: news@world.std.com (Mr Usenet Himself) Message-ID: <19970602170313884331@ppp0a004.std.com> Date: Mon, 2 Jun 1997 21:03:13 GMT Nntp-Posting-Host: ppp0a001.std.com Organization: Software Tool & Die, Brookline MA X-Newsreader: MacSOUP 2.2 Lines: 30 Xref: news.cinenet.net alt.religion.kibology:31604 Captain's log, supplemental. Using the reconstructed DNA from the hair samples, Doctor Crusher has returned the rest of the crew to normal. They are no longer radioactive three-eyed flying babies. I admit that I found the experience thrilling in a way I cannot fully describe. I am happy to report that, following the application of the trialic dekyon probe, Data is no longer possessed by the positronic entity claiming to be the ghost of Deanna Troi's grandmother's beagle. Following our successful attempt at communication, the skull-sucking crab monsters from dimension X have been admitted as full members in good standing of the Federation. Geordi LaForge has discovered a way to keep the warp engines from turning the universe into a blue dodecahedron made of wet sand, and has relayed the information to Starfleet so that his remedy may be installed on all ships of the fleet. The Cardassians went home. The holodeck safety interlocks are working normally again, and the newly sentient holodeck entity has been freed in the form of chroniton anomaly radiation. Q has vanished as rapidly and mysteriously as he appeared. I have recommended that Wesley Crusher receive a special commendation for discovering the Borg ship's secret Achilles heel, and reprogramming the replicators to produce the necessary quantity of creamed spinach--yet our discovery, heretofore unknown, of the intelligence of spinach has made our victory bittersweet. I do not know whether our deliverance was worth the price. Our special guest star, David Warner, has died, a victim of his own yearning to discover and explore--a yearning that, in his case, perhaps exceeded its natural bounds. Let this adventure be a lesson to us all. -- Font-o-Meter! Proportional Monospaced ^ http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/