Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: mmcirvin@world.std.com (Matt McIrvin) Subject: Re: frightened kibologist [attn: Matt McIrvin] Sender: news@world.std.com (Mr Usenet Himself) Message-ID: <19970801105655110640@ppp0a020.std.com> Date: Fri, 1 Aug 1997 14:56:55 GMT References: <01bc9e4a$9c935100$230416cf@Pjasminum> Nntp-Posting-Host: ppp0a020.std.com Organization: Software Tool & Die, Brookline MA X-Newsreader: MacSOUP 2.2 Lines: 66 Path: news.cinenet.net!out2.nntp.cais.net!in1.nntp.cais.net!news.hkt.net.!news2.hkt.net!newsgate.cuhk.edu.hk!news-hk.gsl.net!news.gsl.net!gsl-tokyo-ns.gsl.net!news.gsl.net!news-peer.gsl.net!news.gsl.net!howland.erols.net!infeed2.internetmci.com!newsfeed.internetmci.com!in3.uu.net!uucp6.uu.net!world!mmcirvin Xref: news.cinenet.net alt.religion.kibology:35616 Jess Allan wrote: > Matt, what would happen if I presented you with EZ-Cheez? I would correct the spelling to the proper Ese-Cheez and it would become a minor point of the compass. ompass. ompass. parts of syllables are echoing in my head. I am typing without having slept in a desperate bid to re-synchronize myself with normal sleep/wake cycles. need to take siesta so that Sam won't think I am a zombie. DAYTIME I tell my hoppicampohippityhop o seriotonionin melanitonin anterior sulcus it's DAYTIME. frontal lobes. DAYTIME in my ocicccipitipitahuapotetl tenochtitlan. Nighttime was hours ago when I was listening to that world news polka thing for the ten thousandth time. Capitaptetlization is difficult.HOws this? So the aliens come and they say they've built a timelike wormhole that connects an event in the distant future with one in the distant past, in a loop. Only they haven't built it yet, actually, because they need to build the future end. And the reason for this wormhole is that the universe is an unstable false vacuum, somebody could tip it over at any moment, causing a wave of destruction to blow out at the speed of light. But events being immutable in the universe, the existence of the wormhole's past end, unmolested, would guarantee that nobody could possibly have done this within the past light cone of the future end, thereby giving effective protection to everything under this light cone, like a great big lampshade in spacetime, or a contracting bubble of safety. Now the Earth scientists say that they don't see why anyone needs to do anything, since if the aliens can see that the past end is already there, the project must have been completed successfully. But the aliens reply that they're not sure that that wormhole really connects at the other end to the one they're planning on making; it might come from somewhere else entirely, but if they actually made the other end they'd be sure, and ensure the protection in the process. Of course, they'd only be completely sure once the future end was done at which point the protection would be completely null and void, but it would be a good idea to start the project anyway because otherwise it wouldn't work at all, and they might get partial assurance by sending a signal in a part of the spectrum from the past end that they're carefully avoiding looking at in advance. So the Earth scientists ask the aliens what they need to do this, and the aliens say that they'd need the full energy output of the Sun for long enough to freeze the Earth's biosphere and kill everyone on the planet. They need these stars that are in certain positions relative to where they want the wormhole mouth, and the Sun is one of them. And the people of Earth say, the hell you say, we're not going to sacrifice ourselves for the good of some hypothetical plan that doesn't sound like it would provide much assurance anyway-- and any assurance it did provide wouldn't be for us, because even if some of us managed to hang around somehow, we'd be outside the contracting bubble of safety, which would *pass us* at the moment of your operations. So the aliens go home. And then a wave of destruction eats the universe. Okay, so it isn't a very good plot. I couldn't think up any good characters to go in it either. -- Font-o-Meter! Proportional Monospaced ^ Physics, humor, Stanislaw Lem reviews: http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/