Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.tv.teletubbies Path: news.cinenet.net!syix.com!tor-nx1.netcom.ca!feed.nntp.acc.ca!news.idt.net!netnews.com!ais.net!uunet!in4.uu.net!world!kibo From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) Subject: Kibo presents: BUBBLEBABIES Sender: news@world.std.com (Mr Usenet Himself) Message-ID: Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1998 06:02:11 GMT X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 9136 centons, 74 microns, .02 abians X-Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com NNTP-Posting-Host: ppp0a008.std.com Organization: HappyNet Headquarters X-Newsreader: MT-NewsWatcher 2.4.1 Lines: 156 Xref: news.cinenet.net alt.religion.kibology:59088 X-Cache: nntpcache 1.0.6 (see ftp://suburbia.net/pub/nntpcache) (FADE IN on a plush green landscape, covered by a plastic dome. Colored sparkles are swirling around inside the bubble. Inside, four cuddly roly-poly creatures made out of foam rubber are dancing around spastically. These are the Bubblebabies, KAZOO, WINKY, BUH-BUH, and URP. A giant ball of fire shaped like a baby's grinning head -- the sun of this beautiful world -- rises over the horizon and winks. The Bubblebabies are rolling around on the ground, accompanied by music-box music played at half speed.) BUH-BUH Funny! Funny! (They chase each other around in circles a while.) WINKY Funny! Funny! URP Again! KAZOO Again again! (they chase each other around in circles a while.) WINKY Funny! Funny! BUH-BUH Winky! WINKY Buh-buh! BUH-BUH Again! WINKY Buh-buh! BUH-BUH Winky! (Winky and Buh-Buh hug.) KAZOO Again! URP Again again! (Winky and Buh-Buh hug. The Bubblebabies begin jumping up and down for a while. Suddenly giant periscopes, with eyeballs where the lenses should be, rise out of the nearby mountains. The Bubblebabies all gasp in horror and duck and cover. An enormous fireball explodes from the smiling baby-head sun and toasts everything. Cautiously, the Bubblebabies come out of hiding.) KAZOO Again! BUH-BUH Again again! WINKY Again again, again again! URP Again again, again again! Again again, again again! (They all duck and cover and the sun explodes again.) WINKY Funny! Funny! (A huge silver pinwheel rises out of the sun and begins spinning with an ominous wump-wump-wump sound. A continuous stream of lightning bolts begins coming out of it and going into URP's eyes. His chest shows stock footage of some babies watching Bubblebabies, for several minutes. Then the lightning bolts intensify and he screams. The camera dives into his mouth. FADE TO BLACK.) (We see a close-up of Bob Hope's face, and we hear dogs barking to the tune of "Jingle Bells". The photo of Bob Hope slowly revolves as the camera zooms in on his eyes. Suddenly, in the middle of a stanza, we SMASH-CUT to the camera zooming in and out repeatedly, very fast, on a whirling assembly of Tinkertoys while we hear the sound of a cat with a rocking chair on its tail. DISSOLVE TO URP sitting on his butt, as the pinwheel retracts into the sun.) BUH-BUH Again! KAZOO Again again again again again again again again! (URP bursts into tears and runs out of the frame. A magical lollipop tree suddenly grows into existence near WINKY. He pulls off a lollipop, takes a big bite out of it, and throws it away.) BUH-BUH Again! (WINKY pulls off another lollipop, takes a bite out of it, and thows it away.) BUH-BUH Again! (This repeats until there is only one lollipop left on the tree. WINKY pulls it off, and suddenly the lollipop turns into a big mouth that bites off WINKY's face.) KAZOO Funny! Funny! BUH-BUH Funny funny funny funny! Kazoo! KAZOO Buh-buh! BUH-BUH Kazoo! KAZOO Buh-buh! (They pull out guns and shoot each other. For several seconds, nothing happens. Then URP carefully peeks into the frame.) URP Funny...? (A squadron of white Mickey Mouse gloves slowly levitates into view above the horizon, making helicopter noises. Suddenly, with a loud sucking sound, they rush forward and cover the camera lens.) (CUT TO BLACK. In voice-over, we hear URP being strangled.) (CUT TO: CARD READING "PLEASE STAND BY". NEVER CUT AWAY FROM THIS CARD. THE END.) -- K. I'm sure when I actually see the premiere of Teletubbies tomorrow it'll be even more repetitious and less non-threatening.