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From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: The SubGenius Church to Disband
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Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1998 07:04:20 GMT
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Jon Tomas <jontomas@goodnet.com> wrote:
>
> I need some slack.  Where do I sign to get on the Kibological Wagon?

All you have to do is compile a complete list of everything
that's better than sex.  I'll help get you started:

* an infinitely long piece of crispy bacon

* a new version of "Blade Runner" where Harrison Ford shoots the unicorn

* an episode of "Xena: Warrior Princess" where she shoots Harrison Ford

* a time machine with a one-touch "Make Wired Magazine Never Get Published"
  function

* a new typographical symbol more symmetrical than the asterisk and more
  deadly as a ninja weapon

* a discovery of Beethoven's Twelfth Symphony, arranged to be played on
  a row of atomic bombs of various megatonnages

* a secret formula that changes all the diet colas in the world to taste
  exactly like the regular colas, and have the same nutritional value and
  ingredients

* a REAL lava lamp

* Power Pez with REAL power

* a REAL flaming baby head strafing Teletubby land

* barbers who cut their own hair... with Beethoven's nuclear bombs

                                                -- K.

                                                Also, Reader's Digest needs
                                                to apologize for everything.

