RICHH & PAUL ARGUE RHUBARB
 
Rich:  What's rhubarb?
Paul:  <leans back>  Rhubarb pie!
Rich:  Yeah, that's great, Paul, but what is it?
Paul:  it's of the genus rheum, I venture.  I wd like a rheum."
Rich:  I sought you said yr dig dis nurt bayt.
Paul:  Zet ees nurt maaa doog!  I'm foaming everywhere.
Rich:  Still what is it?
Paul:  I think it's a leaf, my brother used to eat it, you can chew 
       on it.  Like a coca leaf.  Very popular among migrant      
       farmers and southern fried inbred hillbilly-ass bumfucks.
Rich:  Paul, aren't--
Paul:  No.  But I do know a good farmer's blow when I see one.
Rich:  Ooh-
Paul:  Rich, you know how Philadelphia Magazine has the 'Best of  
       Philly' issue?
Rich:  Sure.
Paul:  We should come up with an alternative "Best of Philly"     
       issue, for all the unsung 'best ofs'
Rich:  Like--
Paul:  Like "Best Farmer's Blow"
Rich:  You mean the--
Paul:  Yeah.  <note.  "Farmer's Blow" is the colorful euphemism   
       employed when someone is seen closing a single nostril, then 
       blowing their nose violently out the other one.  As a farmer 
       would do in a field.  Hence the term.>  The best by far is 
       that guy who hang's out at Pat's Steaks.
Rich:  I know the guy.  What are you doing?  <He had been cutting 
       hair off the top of my thigh with a pair of scissors, and  
       now was expanding the cropula.>  Paul, stop!
Paul:  But this is great. 
Rich:  Did I tell you what Julie discovered?
Paul:  ??
Rich:  If you pull the ones on top the ones under the thigh get   
       shorter.
Paul:  Yup.  Pore-flossing.  Look.  A bald spot.
Rich:  Great.  You cut away my tan.  Hey, what about "Best homeless 
       guy"?
Paul:  The guy outside Wanamaker's?  The woman who plays the      
       recorder on South St.
Rich:  Guy who hangs out by 30th St.
Paul:  Oh, that guy is soooo homeless.
Rich:  The other homeless look at him and think, I'm homeless but 
       I ain't *that* homeless.
Paul:  Got any beer?
 
a RICHH/Paul joint