FUN WITH FANS

Amy and a friend were over the other day and we were piddling
around on the net when I get a request to talk from this person. 
I finger the account.  His name is Neal.  Here's how it went:
 
Rich:  Hello?
Neal:  Wow!  So thids thing sactually works!
       <Multiple groans>
Rich:  Whassup?
Neal:  Well, I just red oner of your stories asnfd i want to tell 
       you i think there cool.
       <"I think he's sweet on me."  "Ya think?"  "Oh yeah.">
Rich:  Which story?"
Neal:  I don'yt know.  The imposter one, I think.
       <We look at each other.  "Hey, *I* didn't write that.">
Rich:  You know Neal, when I'm hard, I don't want something soft  
       and squishy receiving my love.  I want that hardness that  
       can only come...FROM ANOTHER *MAN*!!
 
<pause>
 
Rich:  Neal, Neal?
Neal:  You're a fucking fagit.  I hate fagits.
Rich:  Oh, Neal.  Don't be ashamed of what you are.  As long as   
       you're true to yourself...  After all, you paged *me*.  Did 
       you ever go to summer camp?
Neal:  I kill fagits.  Ifg I ever see you, I'll kill you too.
Rich:  Can I call you "Kneel"?  You don't by any chance have a    
       sailor suit, do you?  
Neal:  Ctrl-C
       
       <We laugh and do other things.>
 
     Later, Amy paged him from her account at Penn.  Here's how
that went:
 
Neal: Hello?
Amy:  Oh, coolness!  It works!!!  :)
Neal: Are you male or female?
Amy:  Well, when I last checked I was female.  I hope nothing's   
      changed since then.  :):):):)
Neal: So, why did you page me?
Amy:  Well, I was hoping one of my friends was on, but she wasn't 
      and you were the first person I saw.  :-)
Neal: What year are you?
Amy:  Freshman, except I guess since it's after Hey Day, I'm      
      a sophomore now.  And you?
Neal: Same.
Amy:  Wow!  Coolness!  :)
Neal: So, what do you look like?
Amy:  Well... I'm short.  Very short.  Long, curly blond hair.    
      Brown eyes. ::)):)()--))^!!
Neal: Well, I'm kinda short, myself.  5' 8".
Amy:  Oh.  You've still got a good 10" on me. :-------------->>
      <Amy and Jason snicker.  Rich (in the kitchen at the time): 
      "What'd I miss?">
Neal: You're 4' 8"?
      <Huh?>
Amy:  Um, no.  I'm 4' 10".
Neal: But that would mean I've only got 8" on you.
      <Wha???>
Amy:  Um, I know my math SAT scores weren't that high -- only 780 -
      - but I'm pretty sure there are 12 inches in a foot.
Neal: Oops.  780?  No kidding?  Me, too.
Amy:  Coolness!  My verbal was lower.  Only 660.
Neal: I only got 600. At my high school, we were force-fed SAT    
      prep courses out our ears.  Had to retake the test a few    
      times.
Amy:  Oh, I never bothered with any of that.  I just took the test 
      once unless you count the time in 7th grade when I got 500  
      V, 600 M.  I'm sorry for rambling.  I just hate it when guys 
      take me for some kind of bimbo, ya know?  %$#@!! fuck
Neal: Speaking of bimbos, my ex-girlfriend just walked by.  Excuse 
      me for a sec while I close the door.
      <pause>
Neal: Back.  Oh, I understand.  I'm kinda bummed myself 'cuz my car 
      was stolen.
Amy:  Oh, that's terrible.  :(:(:(::((==+--
Neal: But it was found again.  But now it's impounded.
Amy:  What kind of car is it?
Neal: Blue.
Amy:  Ooooh!  My favorite car color!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neal: Really?  So, are you gonna be around here this summer?
Amy:  No, I'm leaving the 17th.
Neal: All the girls around here only go for the abusive frat-guy  
      types.  I hate that.  I'm too nice, I guess.
Amy:  Yeah.  I'm too nice, myself.
Neal: We should get together sometime.
Amy:  Sounds great, only can I make one request for when we go out?
Neal: Sure!!!
Amy:  Could you wear your sailor suit?
Neal: Ctrl-C
 
RICHH