Selected-By: Scott Panzer <stenor@pcnet.com>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Oracle most wise, who knows when I am sleeping and when I am awake...
>
> My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other since the beginning
> of October. She's been very nice. She's also been very naughty, if
> you know what I mean. What do I get her for Christmas?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The Usenet Oracle's Top Ten List for Very Nice and Very Naughty
}    Girlfriends: (NOTE:  The Oracle believes firmly in encouraging
}    naughtyness in the very nice)
}
} 10 - Because it's been so rare lately, a complete night's sleep.
}      What you do in the morning, of course, is up to your imagination,
}      and stamina.
}
} 9 - To show her you've been paying attention, something of sugar and
}     spice and everything nice.
}
} 8 - A pound of hugs.  And two pounds of kisses.  (Let me know if you
}     need any helpful hints of where to apply these, though there will
}     be an additional charge for the additional advice)
}
} 7 - Satin and silk to enhance the niceness, and emphasize the
}     naughtyness.
}
} 6 - Leather and lace, see previous.
}
} 5 - A spanking for being naughty, and a full body massage for being so
}     nice.
}
} 4 - A moment of extreme happiness for each week you have known each
}     other, paying attention only to her.
}
} 3 - An evening of soft music, spent not sleeping before a lit
}     fireplace, an excellent bottle of wine, and a tasteful meal eaten
}     without utensils. Without rolling over and going to sleep
}     immediately afterwards.
}
} 2 - A week's complete obedience.
}
} 1 - A consistent set of rules for determining which behavior is naughty
}     and which is nice.  And a day's application, with care to the
}     proper and appropriate correction and reward for her following
}     them.
}
} You owe the Oracle 10 new ideas for what to give Lisa for Christmas,
} appropriate for the duration of relationship, and level of Oracular
} giving.