Selected-By: David Sewell <dsew@cobra.aml.arizona.edu>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Wise Oracle, your brightness would blind any supplicant.  Pray, shine
> only a small beam of your awesome majesty upon me...
>
> When should I be worried that I'm drinking too much coffee?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} "Too much coffee" is a vague term, so I'll quantify it.  Rate yourself
} and your relationship with coffee, using the standard Oracular 1-to-5
} scale (5 is least dangerous, 1 is most dangerous):
}
} 5:  If I drink coffee at all, it's at the occasional social event.  One
} cup only.
}
} 4:  I like the taste of coffee, and I've been known to patronize the
} local gourmet coffee house.  I even occasionally drink it for the
} caffeine hit, but only if I have to wake up really early.
}
} 3:  Can't start the morning without that first hot cup; my co-workers /
} classmates avoid me until the caffeine kicks in.
}
} 2:  I used to keep a coffee pot at all the computer labs at school, but
} not anymore; I just bought a battery-operated coffee pot that fits in
} my backpack.  Juan Valdez named his oldest child after me.  The last
} time I paid my bill at the local gourmet coffee house, the owner told
} Harvard to cancel the student loans, because he just came up with the
} tuition money for all five kids.
}
} 1:  I drink coffee through an IV.  My only exercise is caffeine
} jitters.  The last time I tried to cut down, the bottom fell out of the
} coffee-bean futures market.
}
} I hope that gives you a better idea of your coffee consumption.
}
} You owe the Oracle a coffee maker of his very own.  Zeus always hogs
} the community coffee pot...never puts any money in the coffee fund,
} either.