Selected-By: gt2126b@prism.gatech.edu (William T. Petrosky)

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

>

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Oracle: Dammit, still nothing.  Loki, are you *sure* you got
} real virgin's blood?  I mean, they're so rare these days...
}
} Loki: YES, I got real virgin's blood.  I've done this before,
} you know.
}
} [A pentagram is inscribed on the floor, with a black candle
} burning with an eerie black flame at each vertex.  Just outside
} the pentagram, by the candles, stand The Oracle, Loki, Anubis,
} Shiva, and Baal.  Various animal parts, bodily fluids, and
} other unmentionables are scattered around the pentagram.]
}
} Oracle: But you remember the rules: it has to be a virgin who
} had the opportunity to not be a virgin, i.e. no young children
} or computer geeks.
}
} Loki: YES, I KNOW THE RULES!
}
} Baal: Well, we must be doing something wrong.  Are you sure that's
} a *raven's* skull, Anubis?  Looks a bit small to me.  More like a
} magpie's.
}
} Shiva: Yeah, he's the new one here.  A-newbie!  Ha ha ha ha!
}
} Oracle: Stop fighting everyone!  We have to get this right.
} I mean, look.  The Big Guy goes on a three-year vacation and leaves
} us in charge.  And what happens?  Clinton's the president.  Newt's
} the speaker.  I mean, we already screwed things up pretty bad.
} But now this.
}
} Anubis: California.
}
} Oracle: Yes.  According to the "Disaster of the Month Club"
} California is supposed to get a new disaster every month.  We
} started out OK--earthquake, fires, floods.  But now we can't
} conjure up a simple minor demon to torment California.
}
} Loki: Hey!  Aren't you the Usenet Oracle?
}
} Oracle: Yes.  You owe the Oracle your point, and a better
} grovel than "Hey!"
}
} Shiva: Aw, come on.  Grovelling is fine for your mortal
} supplicants, but we're all equal here, right?
}
} Oracle: I think that question is best answered by demonstration.
} I notice your question lacks a grovel entirely.
}
} [The black flame on the candle in front of Shiva begins to
} grow larger, darkening the entire room.  When Shiva realizes
} what is happening, he starts to fight back.  For an instant
} the flame grows a bit smaller, but then it leaps up and
} engulfs Shiva.  After a few seconds and an almost inaudible
} "zot," the flame returns to its normal size.  Nothing is
} left where Shiva stood.]
}
} Loki: Oh well.  He was always a little too tame for me,
} anyway.  My point was, if you're the Usenet Oracle...I
} mean, oh magnificent Oracle, whose wisdom outshines the
} twenty-four sages of Bombay, if you're the Usenet Oracle,
} doesn't that mean you're omniscient?
}
} Oracle: Yes.  You owe the Oracle a medium pepperoni pizza.
} (The Oracle is getting hungry.)
}
} Loki: So, oh exceptional Oracle, who can quote lines from
} every episode of all four Star Trek series, don't you
} *know* why this summoning isn't working?
}
} Oracle: Yes.  You owe the Oracle genetic analysis of
} the bird skull to determine whether it really is a raven
} or not.
}
} Loki: And so, most-taxing-to-my-patience Oracle, WHY DON'T YOU
} TELL US WHY IT ISN'T WORKING!
}
} Oracle: BECAUSE NONE OF YOU IDIOTS ASKED ME!  You're such an
} expert on "the rules," you should know I can't impart my
} wisdom unless someone asks!  You owe the Oracle your next question!
}
} Loki: Why isn't the summoning working?
}
} Oracle: It took you long enough to ask that!  Since I was
} waiting so long, I'll ignore the lack of a grovel.  The
} summoning isn't working because we're missing the wisdom
} tooth of a warlock.  It needs to go at the third vertex,
} next to the scarab of a Pharaoh who was poisoned by his
} daughter-in-law.  You owe the Oracle--get this--the wisdom
} tooth of a warlock.
}
} And *you* owe the Oracle a god to replace Shiva.  One who
} doesn't make bad puns on "Anubis."