Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Path: news.cinenet.net!news.ececs.uc.edu!news.kei.com!news.texas.net!news.stealth.net!news.maxwell.syr.edu!howland.erols.net!newsxfer.itd.umich.edu!uunet!in1.uu.net!uucp6.uu.net!world!kibo From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) Subject: CONTEST! Write Kibo's resume! Message-ID: Reply-To: kibo@world.std.com Organization: HappyNet Headquarters Date: Thu, 26 Jun 1997 19:09:32 GMT Lines: 26 Xref: news.cinenet.net alt.religion.kibology:33708 [I had planned to finish rewriting the a.r.k FAQ today, but I got sidetracked by having to rewrite my resume in an emergency. Don't you love how they no longer call it "termination pay" but a "bonus" when you're laid off?] Anyway, YOU can help write Kibo's resume! I started by listing all my important accomplishments in a perfectly serious way. Of course, that went on for pages and pages and seemed incredibly pompous and egotistical, because let's be honest, I'm pretty awesome. So I need to dumb it down. I added things like: 1987 - summer job at Great American supermarket, Scotia NY (now defunct). Quit after they made me shovel rancid cottage cheese. But my resume isn't WACKY enough! Please help me be WACKY. I am congenitally incapable of being WACKY. I don't even know the word WACKY. Help me end a sentence with something other than the word WACKY. ME WANT MORE WACKY ON RESUME NOW!!!! -- K. P.S. You have until 4:30, then the contest explodes. [ applause with six digits ]