In sci.*, Archimedes.Plutonium@dartmouth.edu (Archimedes Plutonium) wrote:
>
> [...] 
>   Since I am the King of Science and physics, just as Archimedes of
> Ancient Greek was, it is part of my job to render these edicts.
> Especially in these subjective areas of science, such as a dispute over
> history. And since my opinion is worth the most, I render it. And my
> opinion will be heeded and accepted in the future above all others.

It is not an opinion if you are the King of Science!  It is LAW!

If _I_ were to say "The sky is green," everyone on sci.physics would shout,
"That's just your OPINION!  And it's COMPLETELY WRONG!"

But you could say whatever you want, and by definition, it is a Law,
as you are the King!

Please, please, please, don't say that it will rain anvils this week.
Or that gravity will move in zigzags.

Whenever I meet a Nobel laureate, I always ask them: "What would life
be like if gravity moved in zigzags?"  And sometimes they try to tell me.
Scientists think they can talk about anything, no matter how inane the topic.

Damn, I missed "Happy Days" tonight!

Anyway, King Archimedes Of Science, I salute you.  HAIL PLUTONIUM!!!
If you were running against Bill Clinton and Bob Dole and the election
were held TODAY, you'd WIN!  And for once, I'd be voting for someone I like!
 
> [...]
>   My edict on David Hilbert and Albert Einstein regards to General
> Relativity.
> 
>  And let me state that GR will probably be seen as a fake theory in the
> near future and will be ultimately seen as a "mere algorithm" of the
> truer science to come.

Bill Gates said Java is "just a programming language".

Are you comparing Bill Gates to Einstein?  I compared Bill Gates to Hitler
about an hour ago, which means that Einstein is Hitler!  That ruins my
whole theory.  Rats.  Now I shall never get a Nobel Prize!

King Archimedes, your majesty, canst thou see hit to grant thy humble
serf, the modest and unassuming Kibo, a single Nobel Prize?  (Assuming
Alexander Abian hasn't already swiped them all, like that time he was
at the Clio awards.)

[rest of Archimedes Plutonium's edicts omitted for brevity--you can
see them all in sci.physics.]

                                        -- K.
                                        I wish someone would omit
                                        MY edicts for brevity, but no,
                                        I'm not important enough to be omitted!