Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Path: newsfeed.slurp.net!uunet!ffx.uu.net!in1.uu.net!world!kibo From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) Subject: Re: Swords into Plowshares (ATTENTION, LLEAH VVERRE AND NNICK BBENSEMA) Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3051 centons, 52 microns, 0.04 abians Sender: news@world.std.com (Mr Usenet Himself) Message-ID: X-Face: 8"g"L\_0@_U(>UXK.Z1O&I/2Z"{u:Z$yd/};V7:nDV/M9[vY5}WEW|9~k.,.1@Dt Date: Thu, 29 Apr 1999 02:21:50 GMT Url-Of-Www.dot.kibo.dot.com: http://www.kibo.com References: <3RpV2.60751$A6.30043231@news1.teleport.com> <7g7mpf$gku$2@nnrp02.primenet.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: ppp0c061.std.com Organization: Stately Kibo Manor X-Newsreader: MT-NewsWatcher 2.4.4 Lines: 123 Xref: newsfeed.slurp.net alt.religion.kibology:242718 X-Cache: nntpcache 2.3.2 (see http://www.nntpcache.org/) (You can tell these attributions apart by looking at the ten slightly- different shapes of ">"s in this article.) M. Otis Beard (barbus@uswest.net) wrote: > > HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > One 'ha' would be sufficient, Mr. LaForge. Now, if you will excuse me, Nick S Bensema (nickb@primenet.com) wrote: > > This is another thing that uniquely identifies a Kibo post. Wouldn't it be easier just to look at the headers, Crewman Bensema? > Watch as he uses this simple line to hijack the entire thread into a > completely unrelated post making fun of Star Trek. I have done no such thing. Now go stand in the corner on the Transporter pad while I push random buttons to see what happens. > If this were me, I would be a sentence. The End. > I would feel obligated to draw out the transition a little while, > starting with Otis' HA HA HA and make some crack about laugh tracks, > and use how unfunny Suddenly Susan is to segue into a five or six > paragraph rant about his I'd like to spell out the U.S. Constitution > on Kathy Griffin's clitoris. You misspelled "U.S.S. Constitution". PLEASE RESIGN FROM THE OFFICIAL STAR TREK FAN CLUB IMMEDIATELY. We expect your resignation on our desk in shimmery holographic form that makes buzzing noises when you touch it, and emits fifty billion volts of un-circuit-breaker-protected electricity from all surfaces whenever the ship tilts back and forth because it's going too fast. > Kibo, on the other hand, has no qualms that he uses everyone else's > threads to exhibit the surplus material that just wasn't side-splitting > enough to make it into an original post. Sort of like how the writers > for NBC work on five or six different shows, they save all their really > good crowd-pleasing jokes for Friends, they put all their subtler stuff > into Friends, they put all their immature predictable stuff into Just > Shoot Me and dump the rest of the crap into Suddenly Susan. I'd like to dump the U.S.S. Constitution onto Suddenly Susan. Except it might fall into one of Judd Nelson's nostrils and vanish forever. M. Otis Beard (barbus@uswest.net) wrote: > > Nick S Bensema (nickb@primenet.com) wrote: > > > > If this were me, I would feel obligated to draw out the transition a > > little while, > > That's because you're not a big COMEDY BULLY like Kibo, who spends all his > free time at the beach kicking sand in Joe Piscopo's face and laughing. Also I like to go to Jeff Marder performances and heckle him by shouting out segues between his jokes. > But don't let it bother you, *little man* -- All you have to do is join > Goldbergsteinbrenner's Gym and work out for a few months, and you too will > be a bull-necked welterweight wit with a punchline that'll knock 'em dead > every time! Start slow, though. . . you don't want to strain the tendons > attached to your humerus. Use the Take My Wife, Please machine for fifteen > minutes every other day until you can deliver the punchline without wincing > and grunting, and don't slack on the comedy aerobics. Then you can move up > to free weights and clown pants. In not time at all, Nick will be up to carrying around a sixty-pound load in his clown pants. > > [...] they put all their subtler stuff into Friends, they put all their > > immature predictable stuff into Just Shoot Me and dump the rest of > > the crap into Suddenly Susan. > > And anything that's too stoopid to use on Suddenly Susan becomes the ten > o'clock news. That's why they say no news is good news! That's right, the stuff they show at ten o'clock sure ain't news. Just look at what the lead story is tonight: The Associated Press wrote: > > Subject: Hasselhoff Has Ideas for 'Baywatch' There are ideas on Baywatch? > David Hasselhoff said he already has five episodes in mind as > the syndicated adventure show moves production from California to > the Aloha State. David Hasselhoff has a mind? And it's big enough to hold five episodes of Baywatch? > Hawaii offered the show a $3 million incentive package plus free > airfare, hotel and car rentals. The private sector also chipped in > to outbid Australia. I'm just glad he came up with those five ideas somewhere in his head so that we all know he has a legitamite reason for going to Hawaii and it isn't just because they're giving him millions of dollars, a free hotel suite, free gourmet food, free first-class air travel, and all the cars he can drive. I BET THAT GUY WHO JUST PAID $100,000,000 TO GO ON THE MIR SPACE STATION IS FEELING PRETTY STUPID NOW THAT HE FOUND OUT HE WON'T GET FREE CAR RENTALS WHILE HE'S THERE! DAVID HASSELHOFF MUST BE LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO THE HAIRDRESSER! -- K. I think they should move "Baywatch" to outer space like they did with "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers". After all, Baywatch might seem like it made sense if the show took place ON THE PLANET OF NO LOGIC!!!