What would the intestinal gas noises of aliens sound like?

I figure E.T. would make this high-pitched squealing noise that would
break the eyeglasses of mean people.  Mr. Spock would make a short,
abrupt, logical "thud" which would have no smell at all and would be a
perfect middle C.  Babylon 5's Lennier, played by the multitalented Bill Mumy, 
would toot out the tune "Fish Heads" while playing the theme to "The Twilight
Zone" on a banjo with his toes.  The alien in Alien would make the same
noise as the average guy in a trailer mark watching "Married With Children"
without understanding the difference between "laughing with" and "laughing at".
And the abstract alien force in 2001 would play the music of the spheres
through the sphincter of the Universe.
							-- K.
							with a long
							shameful answer.

					As Michael O'Hare would say,
					"GARIBALDI, we're not HAVING
					this CONVERSATION."