Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Path: news.cinenet.net!news.ececs.uc.edu!newsfeeds.sol.net!europa.clark.net!128.230.129.106!news.maxwell.syr.edu!rill.news.pipex.net!pipex!ams.uu.net!ffx.uu.net!in2.uu.net!world!kibo From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) Subject: Re: NBC Aims for Less Sex in Shows Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3015 centons, 19 microns, 0.02 abians Sender: news@world.std.com (Mr Usenet Himself) Message-ID: X-Face: 8"g"L\_0@_U(>UXK.Z1O&I/2Z"{u:Z$yd/};V7:nDV/M9[vY5}WEW|9~k.,.1@Dt Date: Fri, 15 Jan 1999 11:18:05 GMT References: NNTP-Posting-Host: ppp0a009.std.com Organization: Stately Kibo Manor X-Newsreader: Archimedes Plutonium's Electric Velcro Lines: 131 Xref: news.cinenet.net alt.religion.kibology:87521 X-Cache: nntpcache 1.0.6 (see ftp://suburbia.net/pub/nntpcache) Lynn Elber, Associated Press Television Writer, wrote in clari.living.tv: > > Subject: NBC Aims for Less Sex in Shows Allow me to fix the grammar: Subject: NBC Aims for Fewer Sexes in Shows At one of the local Star Markets they have an aisle with a printed plastic "8 ITEMS OR LESS" sign right next to an identically-styled "8 ITEMS OR FEWER" sign, and this juxtaposition is considerably more egregiously bozotic than just having the wrong one. The only way this could be stupider is if one of the signs had a big sticker on it saying "THIS SIGN IS WRONG, DON'T PUT IT UP, EVEN THOUGH WE THINK OUR CUSTOMERS ARE TOO STUPID TO NOTICE RIGHT NEXT TO THE CORRECT ONE---->". > PASADENA, Calif. (AP) -- NBC is turning a cold shower on > overheated shows. > NBC Entertainment President Scott Sassa said Thursday the > network, home of such sexy comedies as ``Friends'' and ``Veronica's > Closet,'' needs to put less emphasis on bedroom antics. From now on, they'll only have sex in the living room. > ``In some cases, we could use a few more words between `Hello' > and `Would you sleep with me?''' Sassa told the Television Critics > Association. But note that they still won't put anything between the sex and "I gotta appointment inna morning, Bye!" > Sassa, who took over as top programmer last fall, said he also > wants NBC to show more traditional two-parent families, more > diversity and more programs set somewhere other than New York. MORE SHOWS ABOUT PEOPLE IN HARLEM AND CHINATOWN AND THE KOSHER SECTION, BUT ALL SET IN THE MIDDLE OF IOWA, AND ALL THE SHOWS SHOULD BE JUST LIKE "SEINFELD" EXCEPT ABOUT A TWO-PARENT FAMILY. ALSO NOBODY SHOULD EVER HAVE SEX BUT THERE SHOULD BE A NEW BABY IN EVERY EPISODE. > But it was his remark about toning down the sexual content in > series that prompted the most questions from reporters. Reporters SHOULD learn about it from their parents just like we didn't. > Sassa was quick to explain that he didn't mean NBC was turning > puritanical. ``We're not trying to create The Family Channel > here,'' he said. How about instead of "Must-See TV" they at least try for "Is Watchable TV" this season? > For a show like ``Friends,'' about singles living in the big > city, sexuality is a logical part of the formula, he said. CITIES MAKE YOU HAVE SEX! PEOPLE LIVING ON FARMS NEVER EVER HAVE SEX, ESPECIALLY WITH TRAVELLING SALESMEN! Hey, there's an idea! The show would be about a travelling salesman and every week he would go to a different farm and there would be a punchline! Then the recorded audience would go "WOOOOO!!!!!" > ``I'm not saying no sex. I'm saying less sex, and it depends on > the kind of show it is,'' Sassa said. ``When sex is used in a smart > way, it works out OK.'' Sex are brainy! I like it when they shout out "E=mc^2" while doing it! > ``Friends'' airs at 8 p.m. in many markets, and NBC, which also > focuses on young singles with comedies like ``Caroline in the > City'' and ``Just Shoot Me,'' has taken heat for scheduling racy > fare early in the evening. Yeah, some of us aren't even home from work then! > Sassa also acknowledged that NBC has weak spots in its schedule > outside of its key Thursday night lineup that includes ``ER'' and > ``Friends,'' but he said the network has several shows in > development for spring. New motto: "NBC: WE HAVE SEVERAL SHOWS UNDER DEVELOPMENT." NOW ON TWO NIGHTS A WEEK! IN MONTHS WITH "R". > They include ``Everything's Relative'' with Jeffrey Tambor (who > played Hank on ``The Larry Sanders Show'') and another sitcom > called ``Cold Feet,'' based on a British series. Oh, goody, another American TV show filmed from British scripts. As if that American knockoff of "Fawlty Towers" this year isn't going to be bad enough. I predict it'll be off the air faster than Eric Idle in that knockoff of "Beetlejuice", "Nearly Departed". Remember that, around 1987? It was about this stuffy professor ghost and his wife who were trying to scare the Yuppies out of their former home, and only the depressed kid in the black dress could see them, and it was JUST like "Beetlejuice" except with no budget or special effects or energy or ambition or originality or Silvia Sidney. > Asked to predict what effect Michael Jordan's retirement would > have on NBC's broadcast of NBA games, Sassa reached back to > Jordan's first retirement in 1993. > Ratings dipped 5 percent then, Sassa said, although the lockout > and the shortened season makes this year's situation more difficult > to gauge. Why don't they just air two solid hours of commercials starring Michael Jordan? People would love that. Unless it was opposite The Taco Bell Dog Hour or one of those witty witty California Raisins holiday specials. > -=-=- > AP NEWS > The Associated Press News Service > Copyright 1998 by The Associated Press > All Rights Reserved > > The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, > broadcast or redistributed without the prior written authority of > The Associated Press. > But then the AP had to give itself written permission to publish the thing which says they can't publish it without written permission, and to write out the permission, which is a form of publishing, they'd have to send themselves another note which says they can send the note saying they can publish the article, and their offices would fill up with paper and BURST!!! And then there would be paper everywhere and we'd all read it for free. -- K. (As if I'm paying for this NOW?)